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Alright! Let's do it! What follows is how we recommend that you start. This is entry-level COCKBALL.

OBJECTIVES

The object of COCKBALL is very simple. There are no teams, it's every man for himself, yet at the same time it's like all the players are on the same team. Simply put, you have to throw a ball at your opponent's crotch. The aim is to hit one, two, or all of the 3 possible targets. These targets will be discussed in more detail in the section on scoring.

NUMBER OF PLAYERS

COCKBALL is best when played with a minimum of 4 players. If space and seating is available, there is no limit to the number of players who could participate in one game. Keep in mind that a game of 30 may not be quite as exciting as a smaller game considering that you will have fewer turns with the ball. Then again, the more targets the better.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED

You'll need a few chairs or couches that can be arranged in a circle, a ballistic of appropriate weight and size, and at least four brave participants. For beginners we recommend that you use a "ball" of sizeable circumference and minimal mass. Possible examples would be a soccer ball, basketball, or volleyball.

BASIC RULES

Rule #1, NO FLINCHING!!! Every time you flinch, the person throwing the ball is allowed to take another shot. This will continue until the "receiver" has successfully managed to take a shot without flinching, regardless of whether any of the shots were on target . Any movement at all that is made by the receiver from the time that the ball leaves the thrower's hand until a few seconds after impact should be considered a flinch. If there is any debate, the rest of the players will act as a governing board, referred to as the Supreme Council, and will vote on the issue. There are a few variations on the flinching rule.

RULE #2, HIKE YOUR PANTS!!! Before every shot, the person with the ball is allowed to request that the receiver pull up his pants. In this case, the Supreme Council will vote on whether the hike has been sufficient. A good rule of thumb is that there should be no space between the receiver's pants and his targets. Needless to say a good player will hike up his pants at the beginning of the game and they will remain in an exemplary position throughout the game.

RULE #3, UNDERHAND ONLY!!! All throws must be underhand and must have a sufficient arc. That is to say that a hard line drive is not acceptable. If a receiver or other player feels that a shot doesn't have sufficient arc it will be voted on by the Supreme Council. If it is deemed that a shot was "illegal", the consequences will be anything from losing a turn regardless of flinching, to the receiver being allowed one penalty shot. There are a few possible exceptions to this rule that will be discussed further in the section on variations.

THE 2 INCHES RULE - each player should have no more than 2 inches of his seat exposed between his legs. That is to say that he should be slouching in his chair with his butt close to the edge of his seat.

THE 7 SECOND RULE - A receiver who has been hit on target must declare the extent of the damage within seven seconds of contact. Failing this, it will be assumed that he is in a lot of pain. In this case it is customary for the members of the Supreme Council to cheer and exchange high-fives.

GAME ON

All players should arrange themselves on couches or chairs in a circle with everyone facing in. Use an agreed upon technique for determining who will start with the ball. Possibilities include rock/paper/scissors, a coin flip, or rolling a die. The game begins with the first throw. The player with the ball is allowed to select any one of the players as a target. Once a shot has been made, without a flinch on the part of the receiver, the ball then goes to the receiver, whose turn it is to throw. In the event of a successful shot, play will be paused until the receiver has recovered enough to resume play by taking his shot. Play continues until every person has had at least one chance to throw, and one chance to receive.

The game ends either when it is decided upon by the Supreme Council, or when the number of participants has dropped below 4. At the end of the game it is customary to name the MVP for that game. Being named MVP carries with it a distinction that may give a player a position of seniority when it comes to making decisions on the Supreme Council in future games.

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